Tuesday, February 14, 2012

a valentine love letter

usually i don't post about personal relations, but i've been a bit obsessed with perfecting my work lately, so i figured i'd balance things out by writing about other topics of interest. and so this time i write about men and marital status.

the thing is, it's been an interesting time, being without a solid mate for some years now. it has definitely provided some comedy but also some serious introspection. ever since a final breakup from a very intense and passionate 15-year relationship with one man, i’ve met some, err, interesting males lately - the ones that "sext" right away, the ones that asked if i was single because i was crazy, the ones that wanted me to be their sugar mammas, etc...and meeting them made it pretty easy to stay by myself!

comedy aside, i’ve also experienced a couple of very intriguing “connections”, but alas, neither stuck – whether it was due to bad timing or the fact that i subconsciously made choices that kept me from being a part of a long-lasting pair. sure, i love my friends, family and the people i work with wholeheartedly but i asked myself, “what did it mean to open my heart...in that way?”

a recent article addressing being an unmarried/single woman actually helped me answer this question. it reminded me to embrace this time as an independent person. i am guilty of seeing time as an unmarried as a temporary stop – a time to pass through - but living this way, one can’t experience the important moments that are the true gifts in life that actually feed one’s heart. i wholeheartedly needed to embrace my strengths, weaknesses, failures, accomplishments and my dreams, just like i did before i was with my guy. this was the key - to consistently love my life choices as i am without any relation to one man. by embracing who i am and where i am now, i face the world with honesty and purity, and perhaps one day will be with a mate who will be the best complement to my true self.

of course, for me, there’s nothing better than being in a pair and part of a team – it’s the best feeling to have when you each know you have a mate and partner to protect, care, support and comfort one another. so no, man, i'm not crazy. i’m just not going to settle for anything less than extraordinary, it’s just not my style.

i know i’m different. i don't get excited by chocolate on valentine's day. but sure, i love gestures of stargazer lilies & pony roses and jewelry (on any day). i'm particular as i am open-minded...and like anyone, selfish at my worst and selfless at my best. it took a special man to inspire me to stick with him (and to put up with me, frankly!). and so i continue on, with my sweet doggie as my protector and companion. life is rich and extraordinary full of intangible gifts. no more questions really, just loving gratitude for all that i am and all that is right now.

1 comment:

  1. Seems we've been in similar circumstances. Well said!